Kim Kardashian's New App Broke the App Store!
Kim Kardashian released an app called Kimoji this week. The app gives people who pay $2 for it a set of illustrated references to the television personality’s life—a rounded, be-thonged thumbnail of her ass; her crying face; the word “BASIC.” But that’s not what this blog post is about. This blog post is about the truth.

Shortly after the app went up, Kardashian fretted on Twitter: Her fans were having trouble accessing it! The App Store was broken! Jonathan Cheban was ONE SEC away from ritualistically slaughtering a baby goat to Dark Goddess Kris Jenner to restore Kimoji!